When we’re trying to change a difficult financial behavior, the obvious question we ask ourselves is “What is getting in the way of doing the right thing?”  This helps us identify and problem-solve through barriers and obstacles.

What we often forget, though, is another important question: “What is allowing the wrong behavior to continue?”  This question allows us to identify the excuses or “facilitating factors” that make our bad habits seem reasonable.

These excuses are a setup for failure, because they allow the habit to continue unchecked.

For example, consider a man who is tempted to stray outside of his monthly budget.  Here is a list of potential facilitating thoughts (or permission-giving thoughts):

It’s not really a violation of my budget because it is extra money that fell into my hands.

I’ve had a busy day at work and I’m entitled to some extra pampering.

I’ll just do it this one time, and then I’ll get back on track.

If I do it just this one time, I won’t need to do it ever again.

I’ll just stray a little outside my budget, and that won’t hurt anything.

Everyone else can spend whatever they want to, so I can, too.

I deserve to treat myself.

It can be helpful to make a list of your facilitating thoughts, and then for each facilitating thought you write down, challenge yourself to develop a more reasonable response.

For instance:

Facilitating thought: I deserve to treat myself.

Reasonable response:  I do deserve to treat myself, but I have a problem sticking to my budget and getting my bills paid.  So it is healthier for me to treat myself with the free activities that I love.  Once I am engaged in a fun activity, I won’t be thinking about my temptation to spend money I don’t have.

Consider the list of permission-giving thoughts (above).  Have you heard any others that you could add to the list?